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Like the living dead, another oxymoron, spouse-friends, are all around us these days. Whatever the reason, referring to your spouse as your bestie, your bud, or your BFF has become rampant. So which is it? Has marriage become little more than benefits with friendship?

There is Married or attached friend wanted research into this question. As he researched social connections a few years ago, he found that everyone derives benefits from online friends and real-life friends, but the only friends that boost our life satisfaction are real friends.

Helliwell and a colleague discovered that a long-running study in Britain had data that may illuminate this question.

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Between andthe British Household Panel Survey asked 30, people to quantify their life satisfaction. In general, married people expressed higher satisfaction, he said, and were better able to manage the dip in well-being that most people experience in middle age, as they face work stress, caring for Married or attached friend wanted parents and other pressures. But an entirely separate part of the study asked people to name their best friend.

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Those who listed their spouse were twice as likely to have higher life satisfaction. Is feeling this way about your spouse necessary for a good marriage? I asked.

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Helliwell said. Levine explained that everyone has what he calls a hierarchy of attachment, meaning if something bad happens to us, we have a ranking of the people we call. In our early decades, those on the highest rungs are usually our parents or other family members.

Over time, of course, this physical connection wanes. While many bemoan this loss of titillation, Dr.

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Levine celebrates it. How are you going to be able to work?

Instead of complaining, we should view this new phase as an achievement: I have the feeling of security. Being close to my partner is very rewarding.

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I trust them. Levine summarizes this feeling with the somewhat awkward acronym Carrp; your partner is consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable.

I said. The words mean totally different things. When couples have been together 30, 40 or 50 years, they use similar language, and that can be the mark of a healthy relationship.

Bader said. Asked if they were best friends, they laughed.

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Pearson said. And that may be the point: After all, if your spouse is your best friend, then whom do you complain to your spouse about?

I Am Heartbroken that my Friend With Benefits is Getting Married and Wants to He still wants us to be friends and couldn't understand why I didn't want to carry .. in FWB relationships – I've certainly seen the guy be the attached one while. said not long ago, “I want to thank my best friend, my favorite collaborator, my wife, Jessica. Has marriage become little more than benefits with friendship? There is at Columbia University, and the co-author of “Attached. @Anonymous: Every woman who wanted a married man had her own . Maybe not now, but it's bound to happen when you're not friends with.

Adam, Eve, and Us. Follow him on Twitter brucefeiler. A version of this article appears in print onon Page ST2 of the New York edition with the headline: Open in the app.